When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry Janu...

Originally of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Basic issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated just lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. At present we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however actually not the questions on what we are able to do if we’re fascinated by a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy ingesting as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private resolution, however when you’re any sort of a daily drinker (which means three or 4 nights per week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other method. When you’re not ingesting through the week, however then ingesting a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the prospect to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her ebook, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for a minimum of 4 weeks provides clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely isn’t doable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you don’t have any concept how shitty you actually really feel if you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It normally takes just a few weeks in your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually will depend on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see when you might make it with out ingesting for 30 days? Or have been you searching for actual well being advantages? Or did you understand that your ingesting has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is de facto what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. When you spend lots of time bargaining with your self every time alcohol is concerned, which ends up in lots of “guidelines” round your ingesting, you would possibly wish to take a step again.

You won’t even concentrate on these guidelines. They’ve simply turn out to be a part of your internal chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No ingesting earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No onerous alcohol through the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and many others.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on per week night time.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The tip days of my ingesting have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been consistently shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down day by day, and that sort of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your ingesting. You would possibly simply resolve that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I don’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however wish to take a extra aware strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions needs to be explored when fascinated by alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round ingesting and the idea that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and lifelike, mannequin to make use of in terms of speaking about alcohol is the concept of ingesting occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the concept of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you simply don’t have to hit any kind of a all-time low earlier than you’ll be able to discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

When you’re able to get trustworthy with the function alcohol performs in your life, I’d counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get inquisitive about your self, and take the time to reply actually. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a job within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does ingesting align with the particular person I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this state of affairs?

Tam: What if our buddies have gone again to ingesting after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you’ve got options/suggestions for tips on how to make this a part of my life-style with my ingesting buddies? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to search out new buddies – haha. However, severely, if your pals actually respect and assist you within the selections you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re frequently making an attempt to push you to begin ingesting once more, whining that you simply’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, you then would possibly have to rethink who you’re spending time with. You must work out for your self what you wish to do with the time that you’ve, and the folks you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your good friend group is closely immersed in ingesting tradition – which means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then would possibly want to search out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to exchange that Friday night time cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most fundamental sober particular person round – and I’m pleased with ingesting a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that folks have completely different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing slightly extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on fireplace! There are such a lot of merchandise in the marketplace – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m frequently impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Entire Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to supply such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. When you’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s sort of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly wish to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and keep a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam